You know how the story goes.
Boy swipes right.
Girl swipes right.
Boy and girl meet.
Boy and girl date, ghost, and repeat.
It’s a modern love story, no?
If you’re feeling defeated and romantically stifled, there is a better way to date.
If you’ve become apathetic with the prospect of meeting a genuine soul to connect with, conscious dating is for you.
Conscious Dating is not altogether a new concept. But thanks to individuals like Kaila Perusco, it’s an approach to dating that’s becoming more popularised amongst Generation Y.
Kaila heads the The Conscious Dating Co, which runs a unique kind of speed dating event in Sydney and Melbourne. Described as ‘down-to-earth events for mindful lovers’, it attracts self-aware 20-30-somethings who are looking to engage in stimulating conversation, and leave with their dignity in tact. Rather than play a frantic game of musical chairs with 10-15 different people, Kaila organises fun group activities and questions designed to reveal a person’s character. Attendees leave feeling fulfilled, respected, and have even gone on to find their long-term partner.

Conscious dating and other things discussed in this episode:

  • How to find and make love last with Pierz Newton John
  • Signs you might be guilty of inauthentic dating, and how to stop playing games
  • How mindfulness will change the entire way you approach dating
  • How to turn casual dating horror stories into casual dating success
  • The power of radical vulnerability
  • How to be authentic when casual dating
  • Not over your ex? You might be guilty of victimising yourself
  • How to plan your emotional intelligence journey
  • How to cultivate better self-awareness
  • The biggest speed dating misconceptions that prevent you from connecting with the opposite sex
  • The best way to find human connection and develop attraction at a speed dating event
  • Fuckbois, and why men out there ARE looking for connection, and where to find them
  • The origins of Speed Dating and how young professionals use it today
  • Why speed dating fosters better connection with the opposite sex, and much faster
  • How to save time finding a casual date or long-term partner
  • Essential body language cues that your date uses to signal they’re interested
  • How to swipe mindfully for more accurate matches on Tinder
  • Why guys DON’T swipe more than girls on Tinder
  • The one question you need to ask to get better dates from Tinder
  • How to ‘market’ yourself better online with mindfulness
  • The best photos to optimise your Tinder profile for more matches
  • Why you need more than 30 seconds to forge a true connection and create attraction – pheromones!
  • The science behind attraction (this is the study Kaila was referring to)
  • Accelerated intimacy
  • Why long-term, loving connection and attraction requires conscious effort and work to cultivate
  • How being honest about your emotional needs can get you what you want in a relationship
  • Why you should ALWAYS go ALONE to a speed dating event
  • Why and how speed dating works for both introverts and extroverts
  • How to have a conscious fuck buddy with boundary setting and communication


Want to try conscious dating for yourself?

Sign up to one of Kaila’s events.


Interested in learning more about mindfulness?

The following resources are a great place to begin your journey to self-awareness:

Header image via: Paul Bence


All We Cannot Say is a dating podcast that explores love, sex, joy and heartbreak through a lens of philosophical enquiry. Subscribe via iTunes to learn more about relationships 2.0, ethical non-monogamy, sexuality, lgbt issues, modern romance, adventures on Tinder, online dating, compassion, empathy, sex tech and more.