There’s a tendency to overdramatise and often romanticise dating with depression and anxiety. A whole litany of tropes spring to mind – tortured artists, the Zelda Fitzgeralds and Sylvia Plaths and the neurotic geniuses are all lauded within pop culture canon. But mental health is far from glamorous, and I would argue, far from being a big deal.
Everyone experiences moments of despair and extreme stress, but when it comes to clinical depression and anxiety, these add another layer of complexity to the already confusing world of dating.
In this episode, writer Hannah Joyner speaks to us about her own experiences with OCD, anxiety and depression.
As someone who’s skilled in the art of exploring complexity and social issues for the likes of Overland, VICE and Tone Deaf, she approaches pop culture and politics with accessibility in mind. She makes the topics she writes about easy to understand and explore, and a pleasure to read.

Dating with anxiety and depression, and other things discussed in this episode:

  • Episode 10: Everything is Waiting For You
  • Anxiety, writers and our negative thinking spirals
  • Affirmation apps
  • Why positive affirmations can be the worst thing for your mental health
  • Daria Memes
  • Sad Girl Memes
  • So Sad Today and Melissa Broder
  • Goth Shakira
  • Lisa Simpson and sad girl theory
  • Audrey Wollen
  • Rihanna as an icon of sad girls everywhere
  • Dreading eternity
  • Growing up with OCD
  • The perils of early onset teenage-hood
  • Panic attacks and night terrors
  • Self-care non-negotiables like exercise and meditation
  • Freedom, structure and learning to negotiate for the sake of your mental health
  • Alternative schooling for kids
  • Dating with anxiety and depression
  • The concept of being alone
  • Dating apps, the perils of first impressions, and intentional swiping
  • Friendship dating
  • You’re the Worst
  • Casual sex and mental health
  • Leandra Medine and Man Repeller
  • Fuckbois
  • Companion animals and the therapeutic benefits of pets
  • Meditation, mindfulness and self-awareness
  • Driving and anxiety
  • Unemployment and mental health
  • Where does mental illness come from?
  • Middle class guilt
  • Journaling and writing through the problem
  • Growing up with religion and breaking away from doctrine
  • Diet and mental health – refined carbs are the devil
  • Stress eating
  • Myers Briggs personality test
  • Do you use your anxiety and depression as a scape goat?
  • Alexi Wasser
  • Paterson by Jim Jarmusch
  • Travelling with anxiety and depression
  • Practising self awareness as a mechanism for quelling anxiety
You can read Hannah’s writing via her Tumblr and follow her on Twitter.


Header image: Oscar Keys


All We Cannot Say is a dating podcast that explores love, sex, joy and heartbreak through a lens of philosophical enquiry. Subscribe via iTunes to learn more about relationships 2.0, ethical non-monogamy, sexuality, lgbt issues, modern romance, adventures on Tinder, online dating, compassion, empathy, sex tech and more.


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