Many of us believe that teen sexuality is something to be avoided and shamed – and that if we’re to be responsible parents, sisters and brothers, it’s also something we need to do our best to prevent from happening.

There are a lot of reasons for this view. One is that STIs are higher than they ever were before. But is this because sex, in and of itself, is to blame?

According to the Huffington Post, children get their education from porn at as young as 11 years of age. This means that kids are turning to highly stylised productions where everyday events take unexpected sexual turns. How often do you see condoms and lube in porn? Never, right? It’s a fantasy.

 Coupled with the facts that kids are bypassing firewalls and parental blocks to access porn, and you’re left with sex ed that compounds fact with fiction. No wonder why kids hide this activity from parents!

Yet research demonstrates that teens who can be open about their sexuality with their parents fare better in every aspect of their sexual health. And study after study has found that sexual shame harms people in myriad ways.

From heightening the likelihood of substance abuse and eating disorders, to increasing STI and HIV risk, to preventing survivors of sexual assault from reporting the crimes, to compulsive pornography consumption, there is no doubt that framing sex in negative terms has real world consequences.

Author Row Murray is hoping to change that.

Row is the author of For Foxes’ Sake!, the age-appropriate sex education book I wish I had growing up. Aimed at teenagers, their teachers and their parents, it’s a no holds barred deep dive into safer and healthier sex for young girls today.

In this episode, we discuss:

  • What are teens searching for online?
  • Porn viewing habits
  • Why parents need to take responsibility for their kids sex education
  • The danger of porn as an educator
  • Where did I come from?
  • Sex fairy god mothers
  • Periods talk!
  • Why teens talk to their parents last about sex
  • What is a sex positivity?
  • How to create a sex positive home
  • Fat shaming and sex work
  • Can sexting be empowering?
  • The Fappening
  • Are people who look at shared nude selfies just as guilty as those who share them without consent?
  • Nickolai Goundry, technology and male culture
  • Female drivers and motorcross
  • Pay for high quality, ethical, consensual porn!
  • Sex workers everywhere on Twitter
  • Porn piracy and the politics of consumer trends
  • Sex work is work!
  • How teen girls can rock self respect online
  • State-based legislation around selfie culture
  • Rachel Syme’s essays on selfie culture
  • Did Paris Hilton invent the first selfie?
  • Why safe sex and sensuality are compatible
  • Why teens have the highest STI rates of any generation
  • LELO Hex and condom innovation
  • Lubes, latex and finding the right condom for you
  • Pretty Little Liars, surveillance and the male gaze
  • Is it possible to turn the male gaze on its head?
  • Male aggression and cat calling
  • Bitch facing like a champion
  • How to break down herd mentality
  • The dangers of steaming your vagina
  • How to clean your sex toys safely
  • Row’s new book for teenage boys – All Foxed Up!

You can buy For Foxes’ Sake! at Row’s website.

You can also stay up to date with Row’s latest writing on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

All We Cannot Say is a dating podcast that explores love, sex, joy and heartbreak through a lens of philosophical enquiry. Subscribe via iTunes to learn more about relationships 2.0, ethical non-monogamy, sexuality, lgbt issues, modern romance, adventures on Tinder, online dating, compassion, empathy, sex tech and more.


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