In 2017, there’s never been a better time to rally for social change, both on a micro and macro level. It’s why All We Cannot Say exists – to challenge our perceptions of love and sexuality, and to help readers and listeners enhance their EQ. Yet with identity politics and conflict at the fore of our cultural consciousness, we’re discovering the future is uncertain for equality. It begs the question: what does this mean for our notions of gender and sexuality? Do we need a new definition of masculinity to support more equality? Is the future really female? And how do we support each other to embrace growth, equality, and social and political change?
These are just a few of the pressing questions that permeate our cultural milieu. And it’s why I approached Alex White of The Man Lab, a Melbourne-based coaching service for modern men seeking strategies for personal growth and a healthier sexuality.
With his multi-modal approach to coaching, Alex helps his clients enhance their relationships and sex lives through exploring healthy masculinity, spirituality and sexuality. The result is a modern practice that enhances his clients’ sex lives and relationships, and aids in fostering a greater connection to self through deeper self-awareness.

Modern masculinity and other things discussed in this episode:

  • Alex’s life as a UX designer, and how human behavioural psychology influences his work as a coach
  • How do you become a life coach? Do you need a psychology degree?
  • Male initiation ceremonies in Australia
  • The Mankind Project
  • Vipassana meditation
  • Digital detoxes
  • Mindfulness
  • Being a workshop junkie, and extending that workshop high once ‘reality’ hits
  • How is a life coach different from a therapist, psychologist or counsellor?
  • How to healthily process emotions physically, rather than mentally
  • What is masculinity in 2017? Do we need to redefine masculinity? How do we do this?
  • The difference between male and female, masculine and feminine
  • The problem with gendering the body and behaviour
  • How to recognise a masculinity/femininity imbalance, and what to do about it
  • Feminism, equal pay, and equal rights
  • Gender stereotypes
  • The core attributes that define a healthy adult
  • The best time to think with your dick – all the time!
  • Why I think Drake is a healthy role model for modern healthy masculinity, and why Alex doesn’t agree with me
  • What does a good masculine role model look like?
  • How to cultivate presence physically and mentally for better conversations and relationships
  • The art of practical self love through applied touch
  • The problem with ‘boys will be boys’
  • It Didn’t Start with You
  • Why inherited family trauma affects generations, and how to stop the vicious cycle
  • How to balance science with traditional methodologies
  • Why modern men NEED social rites of passage to mark adulthood, and how to find them in Australia
  • The number one reason men seek a coach, and the first step to releasing that trauma
  • Why calling a TIME OUT is the healthiest way to deal with conflict
  • How to facilitate safety and maturity in an argument with your partner
  • The easiest way to incorporate a simple, effective meditation practice into your daily life
  • Headspace app
  • How men can embrace more feminine qualities, and why balance is the key to a healthy, happy life
  • The best exercises for starting your day off right
  • The WORST WAY to balance your energy
  • What practices make for a good coach, and how to spot a bad coach a mile away
  • The best way that women can support men
  • Why stepping away and doing nothing is a powerful act
  • How to ensure that your needs are REALLY heard by your partner

Book a session with Alex at

Come hear Camilla talk about All We Cannot Say at the next Fuck Up Nights event in Melbourne. Proudly presented by General Assembly as part of Melbourne Knowledge Week 2017, Fuck Up Nights is a global movement embracing vulnerability through story telling.

It’s FREE to come along! Just RSVP here.

Header image via: Patrick B.

All We Cannot Say is a dating podcast that explores love, sex, joy and heartbreak through a lens of philosophical enquiry. Subscribe via iTunes to learn more about relationships 2.0, ethical non-monogamy, sexuality, lgbt issues, modern romance, adventures on Tinder, online dating, compassion, empathy, sex tech and more.